Bumbi

Bumbi ~ \'bum-"bee\
[noun] Shona
-Insulting term.

1. Fool

2. A male who is often taken advantage of by female(s) without gain.

Alternative: Bharanzi

It's quite enough,now, ladies! And I use the term ladies loosely.

They [ladies] had my number.
I was had and by jolie they enjoyed me...for all I was worth.
I was charitable, required nothing in return.
I drove, I bought, I called, I cuddled.
I remembered (unless I was told to forget) I forgave, I apologised, I understood.

Don't get me wrong, the above are all noble qualities...
...If you're in to being noble.
You could become a knight!
....and, in your shining armour, ride to your damsel...
...because she's in distress....
...But, riddle me this, why is she in distress? I'll tell you why-
It's because JonnyBeBad has just given her the Benefit but he doesn't have time for her Bullshit!
And now she wants to cuddle. Good thing you're there for her whenever she she needs a friend [read: Bumbi]

And only now has it hit me, this blatant disregard!
They don't take me seriously as a *Varume
...it smells funny and i'm not
Going to eat it...
...anymore.

This wrong must be put right.

Don't get me wrong though, there are girls that have ended up my good friends....
They got in early.
But now there are so many of them around that I feel I should be MANstruating in sync with them!

To those that are my friends, realise that you can not have GF Benefits if you're not participating.

To those late to the party...
....still standing at the door....waiting to see what I'm good for....kindly bend over.


*Varume - you've seen the sign on the Gentlemen's toilet door - VARUME, yet, it is one man that stands proud, arms and legs akimbo, representing ALL men.



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Please do not feed the Models

I stand for the Protectection of "modellars" and I am against the cruelty inflicted upon them
Through interogations disguised as "question time".

I beleive all questions that do not relate to their beauty, the colour of their dress or the first name of the person who made it are totally irrelevant.
The only other exceptable question is one that leads into the answer "World Peace".

What you, the public, have done is turned a perfectly working beautiful woman into a dumb blond just by asking stupid irrelevant questions about her future, politics etc.

...And now you've confused this wonderful species into beleiving they should be clever to win a pageant.
For goodness sakes, just let the woman look pretty!

All the change she will effect is because of her beauty not because of her opinion on the current macro economic climate.
The prettier she is, the more change she will effect.

Since when was so much expected of someone just because they were beautiful?

Everyone can be intelligent if they really try (and/or if they have access to google) but beauty...this is not to be taken lightly.
Nor is it to be bundled with another qualifying characteristic.

I say, look and appreciate the beauty without question (pun intended)

No models were harmed in the writing of this blog

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Fuck Steve Harvey

Who's side is he on anyway?
With his white teeth and big grin masking oral incontinence through gender betrayal! Obviously not on our [men] side!

But guess what? He's not on your [women] side either.

You see, women used to know us. They had fantasies of who we might be and what we might do and whilst this was misguided and often cause of many problems, if they were honest with themselves they really did [past tense] know us.

They knew exactly what would happen if they slept with us quickly [nothing out of the ordinary]. Or if they took they're time [nothing out of the ordinary (if we waited to find out)].
They new our intentions [Even if we didn't have any]

But now, good old Steve has them attempting to think like a man does[I'm hungry]

The [un]fortunate thing is Stev-o didn't pull y'all to the side and whisper this in your ear....
He wrote it in a book and despite popular belief Men do read [Occassionally]

Barring which ofcourse, you're all telling us what the book says anyway and what our actions mean [thanks for that cause we didn't know how deep we actually are]

Unfortunately this will only help you with the past.

The reason man has survived is we adapt... And now that you have a manual that you're following we will be sure to play our role [As expected]
We'll be sure to act surprised when you jump from behind the couch [Book in Hand]

Actually...maybe he is on our side...


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Repeat Business

Love is procreatively recreational.
The beauty of it's recreation is procreation
And because of our need to procreate
We re-create. 
We search for similarity,
For a warmth once felt
From someone who is not present in our past
And yet who's future should feel familair.  

And just as there are single parents,
So too are there single lovers. 
All bellied up with love, unrequited.  
Content with the recreation; 
Filled with what should be good. 

And so we find ourselves there again,
The place we tried to forget.  
In forgeting we do not recognise it is the same road. 
Fimliarity is cruel to love
Yet kind to hate. 

Don't re-create Love
For if you knew what it was, you would still have it 
Find it anew ... Create! 
Even if it's with the same person
Redefine what everyone thinks they know

 

 

Wake Up

I woke up to the pitter and patter of rain drops;
So Similar that I could tell them apart.
The first drop loud enough to be considered a pitter yet soft enough to allow the patter to take over without drowning the next pitter.
Before I could get over the sound of the first drop,
the second would announce its arrival in such a way that I would expect to hear the first again.
Lightening and thunder would brake the wet air, cutting it dry, yet still the pitter and patter would persist, gently.
And as it continued to fall i rose,
with each awakening playfully exchanging like the pitter and patter,
till the sound was loud enough for me to smell and the wetness moist enough to see and with sight, suddenly, I was wide awake, too aware to appreciate.
I knew exactly what was going on....It was just a little rain.

Fuck Santa (Part II)

The reason is:
I've seen Little Red Riding Hood
And she has everything the Big Bad Wolf could want
Nevermind her basket FULL of Goodies
I want everything she can't give me
I want Her and her Grandmother
I want it ALL Santa but you're trying to get me to bed early
So you can reward me with a belly of stones
And as much as I want to be FULL
Its the decadence of indulgence that I'm after
And not the WEIGHT of satisfaction
I don't have the patience to wait till Christmas

Fuck Santa (Part I)

Fuck Santa,
I'm gonna be naughty
No need to know if I've been good
Cause it's all going to be bad. 
In my defence, you've stopped bringing me presents anyway!
So I'm not gonna cry but I will pout and this is why...